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THANKS FOR THE PARANG by Rae Samuel

posted 24 Dec 2016, 12:14 by Gerry Kangalee   [ updated 24 Dec 2016, 12:24 ]
Tis the time of year, along with my Christian friends, the many I have left on the Left, I reminisce on the birth of the Saviour. Like the Government, he, not to be confused with He, came to save us all, regardless of how little and for whom we have been voting lately. Yes yes...it remains a work in progress! All yuh notice Terry Rondon turnin' into a Larry Achong style councillor.

Anyway, I share with my comrades my scholarly research. I have learnt this year, for example that Jesus’s full name is/was Jesus Christ Thompson and that he took his mother's last name. Her name you recall was Hail Mary. Joseph seemed to have no last name. Rather I have not found any so far. Even Wikipedia drew me a blank and they are generally reliable (heh! heh!). Maybe Joseph of Aramathea did not pay his Flow cable bill.

What would Diana Wyatt-Mahabir have done with Joseph anyway? She would surely have released the D.P.P. on him using the power of the Children's Authority legislation. You do not ride your wife around when she is about to deliver. Joe was old enough to know that. No wonder it took him so long to find a bride. And the boy was never close to him.

J.C., as we know, had a rough time of it. If Trinidad and Tobago as we know it now had existed, he would surely have been a deportee. School dropout, gang leader, wine dealer! Not that he did not have skills - he was a fairly good carpenter they say! Maybe the money was not fast enough.

There was gambling but he did not like it from what we read about the incident in the Jerusalem mall with the foreign exchange folk. For those who do not know, you had to change the local currency into a special coin to buy the doves to make offerings in the temple. The rate of exchange would have made the local Bankers association prooooouuuddd! It's called ''usury'' folks - then and now. Guess that is why we never see photos of Jesus in the banks - in the hardware stores, bookstores, in some maxis; but never in banks.

How did they spend Christmas? Fortunately for him, not Him, Christians came after, so he escaped them and their rituals. Much like Marx who is reported to have 'thanked god' that he was not like some of those Marxists who came after him. Christ Thompson was Jewish/Hebrew. Jesus would have looked absurd in a red suit anyway. He preferred Roman sandals to snow shoes. Had he not he would have stood out and been captured long before Easter/Good Friday. He would not have had time to turn water into wine and motivate Carmona. Anybody 'paranging' the Prez House this year?

But we still have to thank him, not Him, for inspiring parang in all its forms, Holly
Betaudier, Daisy Voisin, the Marionettes who must be the same age as he, and a host of local 'Spanish woman' lead singers.

The very heavily armed paramilitary/and military who will be fighting crime in the malls? Nah, I don't think that was his idea. Even if it were, he would have given it up after the first Christmas, recognising that is not where the murders and kidnappings are occurring. But then he would have had to fight off "Pepper Spray'' from the Dottin cohort..Jeez!!! What next; tasers for secondary school girl students?

Do you all realise that Gary Gee and Robert Gui have contracts with the media? Whenever it is a really serious matter on crime or labour they are both trotted out. One leaves the listener more winded than the Trinidad football team 60 minutes into a 90 minute World cup qualifier; while the other causes the viewer to ask "What the hell he talkin' about?"

My Christmas wish is that this anniversary of demonstrating on Christmas Eve is the last for the steelworkers. One year ago that is what they courageously did and they are still out there. They have waged tremendous struggle virtually alone. Let us remember there is an under-reported and overlooked strike by I.O.C.L workers camped outside the company gates down at Otaheite..And that Carnival and Christmas are celebrations and not distractions. And that pan players are owed money for 2016.

And that the need to take over and democratise our own institutions is paramount regardless of whether Colm says goes or is demoted or Jenny loses out to yet another “labour leader”.

Jah guid....oops...Happy holidays!
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