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TWO DEAD HORSES BETTER THAN ONE, ENT? by Rae Samuel

posted 14 Sep 2012, 04:40 by Gerry Kangalee
Two dead horses must be better than one in the eyes of our former University principal, now turned music mogul, Minister Bhoe Tewarie. I am thinking of PNM’s epic disaster on the south bound lane of the Solomon Hochoy Highway, the Brian Lara Stadium, which has been in construction purgatory for God knows how many years. 

Is the project dead? Is it alive? Is it half dead? Anyway one wonders why after seeing how the public reacts to colossal waste, in an effort to capitalise on a young icon's popularity, a government births another dead horse. Okay so they will launch the album at the Brian Lara stadium because two dead...and PNM's national monument to unchecked corruption needs a commemoration now and then, right? 

Now in the old days, it would be the venerable Mr. Rhyner, Mr. Crosby or the Martineau brothers who would be producing records from Spectakula Forum or Rhyner's record shop. If I am reading correctly, it will now be Dr. Bhoe Tewarie, from the offices of the Minister, at the Eric William's Financial Complex. Eat your hearts out Drs. Stalin, Sparrow, Chalkdust and Roy Cape. Why Dr. Tewarie? He holds a doctorate in English. Guess Machel will have to pronounce "bacchanal" and "scandal" correctly in his music now. 

There is precedent for this in the region. Former Jamaican Prime Minister, Eddie Seaga, was a record producer before he became politically active at a high level. Not that it endeared him to the Jamaican public, who, urged on by the late great reggae icon Peter Tosh, would refer to him as Mr. "See-hog-ya". 

But from reading the reports Minister Tewarie knows his stuff. "We can launch in September...but we will launch between October and November". Hurry up Bhoe, otherwise you will end up with a Christmas album. Now this project started as a 50th anniversary Independence project but had to be pushed back to accommodate finishing touches. Okay, Mr. Minister, that is understandable. We know how 50th anniversaries can sneak up on us. Only a PNM or a recalcitrant COP would suggest you could have known in advance that 2012 would be the 50th anniversary of independence. Besides, you are an English professor, not maths. Hmm! they want one man to know everything. 

In a worst case scenario, if there are any more delays, you all can always reconvene Parliament, say, Ash Wednesday morning and pass retroactive legislation on the whole album/cd or certain tunes. Just let Colin and Vasant know if you going that way, beforehand. I guess that will depend on if you proclaim, oops sorry, launch the whole project or proclaim certain tunes on launch date. 

Newsday also states that the proceeds from the album will be split equally between Montano and the Ministry. Now here is where it becomes really interesting. Everyone knows that an elephant is a mouse built according to a government contract. As of September 13th, the project reportedly will cost between $2m and $5m so a projected cost overrun of 150% has already been written in. See why we say launch at the Brian Lara stadium.

But there is more. What kind of sales will be required to recover a $2m minimum outlay? And will the proceeds be split AFTER expenses are met? And who has to pay $150 for a copy? IS WE MONEY PRODUCE D DAMN ALBUM! 

Of course the contract will be made public and read into the Hansard. But one must admit the entire project honours certain traditions in government policy. It has run overtime, is projected to cost more than it should and is very unlikely to make a profit. 

I hope the NWU media department gets invited to the launch. Pan Trinbago blanked us last year re: press accreditation so let us hope the Ministry of Culture, sorry, Ministry of Planning treats us better. 

All those elected representatives, three quarter pants, caps turned backwards, raising 'dey hand' and shouting "Mr. Fete." Would be a nice launch, blues lights after and all! Hello Mr. Commissioner!
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