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SUITS FOR LIFE by Rae Samuel

posted 23 Mar 2013, 06:55 by Gerry Kangalee   [ updated 23 Mar 2013, 07:00 ]


If I were a tailor and you were a journalist, former member of the boxing board, newspaper editor, chairperson of a political party in partnership, just about anyone within reach, I would be sewing court clothes for all ah all yuh.

A certain government minister (name withheld because my three suits getting kind a’ tight) is broad siding everybody with lawsuits. It seems that a newspaper report alleged that the said minister (name withheld because I cannot afford Martin Daly) was the subject of an investigation by the Integrity Commission. 
Remember them? Some senior citizens who apparently do not have grand children, nieces and nephews to drop to school or carry to the mall to ride "bouncy castles" so they engage in lawsuits/countersuits at taxpayers’ expense. 
Apparently, the senior citizens…oops…the Integrity Commission has exonerated the said minister (name withheld because I am not typing this in Parliament), sending him into a dizzy (…oops wrong context, into a tizzy. Correct word?). So is lash and cuff and bux (oh damn I have to get this keyboard checked), box from all sides. 
We have moved from "Hoops for life" to "Suits for life" as in court clothes. Just as well. At the end of it all, lawyers, if not plaintiffs, will be sharing millions without a cokeyoko lift up from Shaq all under the guiding hand of said minister (name withheld because I am not a soca star and I have to pay for my own phone cards). 
Oh the perils and sacrifices of journalism! Because of the need to sit up late at night and produce these masterpieces of insightful thought and trenchant analysis, I will never get to sit on the Integrity Commission. Okay, okay so my nieces and nephews can find their own way to the malls! 

Speaking of masterful writing check out Burton Sankeralli’s latest article
The Bolivarian Re-ignition published on the National Workers Union web site. It is required reading. But I guess I need not worry since I will be making "suits for life" and it gets easier. Don't send me your measurements, dear defendants; just e-mail me the location of the last corner yuh pass!