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posted 19 Sep 2017, 10:34 by Gerry Kangalee
...and in news from the energy sector, which drives the political sector and selections, the leader of the government has responded to allegations concerning the production of rubbing alcohol at the PetroBaksh…sorry…Petrotrin oil refinery at Point a Pierre.

The refinery has been re-configured to produce products which would disappear like these spirits between the production fields and the refinery only to turn up later on the Company books. What a way to reduce transportation costs!

Suggestions that his close personal friendship with the principals of the A.V company may be clouding his judgement and compromising his position as a national leader, drew the following response from the PM, "Being a friend means $omething''. Please note that this same leader was telling women in the country that they were responsible for who was in their Boardrooms...ah…sorry...bedrooms.

PNM Party groups are organising Thanksgiving services for the sunset clauses in the Anti-gang legislation

The political leader of the Opposition responded by saying that the gentleman in question knew very well what was happening and should launch an enquiry. He in turn launched into a tirade which one thought reflected his linguistic roots as well as his professional training when he accused her of ''jamettrie''.

Referrals to Shamfa Cudjoe, Morgan Job, the Mighty Shadow and the eminent Tobagonian linguist, Winford James, immediately cleared up this 'double entendre.' It was a reference to her social and political persona not right angles and quadrilaterals. Apparently that is how enraged Rottweilers sound in 'Mason Hall' (pronunciation at your discretion).

Some female opposition figures have accused the gentleman of degrading women. None of Anika Gumbs. Penelope Beckles or Marlene Mc Donald could be reached for comment. Some wags are saying Marlene could be quicker reached for comess. Anyway, in PNM circles the shoo shoo is that Marlene is going to oppose the Rott in the next election for political leader.

Meanwhile doubles and roti vendors across the country are up in arms and aloo at the sudden change in eating habits of the leadership of JTUM. It seems that they have reached an agreement with the ruling Party to re-join the National Tripartite Advisory Council.

Rumour has it that calypsonian Baron will be asked to perform his classic "He lick she'' at the renewal of their vows. In this kaiso, a woman is gettin' licks in the road and telling a policeman “Doh interfere" The other members of the JTUM leadership declined Watson's request to hold the re-engagement ceremony at Toco beach.

The vendors are asking what about all that talk about eating doubles and roti to impact the 1% and the planned drawing up of a list of business places to be boycotted. What the vendors belatedly realised was that all those visits to the Breakfast shed, which is adjacent to the Hyatt, was to put our esteemed leaders within sniffing distance of the Hyatt's kitchen. And we will be reading about Jenny again since these 'comrades' may have saved her job.

Richmond Motors Ltd reportedly sent a memo to a leading union in South saying that curry does stain BMW real bad after servicing one of the Union's luxury vehicles and finding 'channa' in the glove compartment. But isn’t the agent for BMW, Richmond Motors, part of the ANSA-MCAL group? And doesn’t the group belong to the 1%...look I getting confuse yes…

As we wrap up this news summary we would like to comment on a story by a leading political commentator that there has never been a scandal in the OWTU. Some might say then that Errol McLeod never ran for and won leadership of the Union or that the present President General never worked at Trinmar but...

Why am I dealing in fake news, you may ask? Well I just following the example of the new and improved Guardian newspaper. If the 1% could play, who is me?

Stay tuned!