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MUD SLIDE! by Rae Samuel

posted 18 Oct 2013, 20:00 by Gerry Kangalee

 I think Ian Alleyne, more than anyone, dreads a victory for himself and UNC. I have already imagined and am trying to send him an outline of his victory speech which will create history in Trinbago. It will be the first time a victorious candidate will demand that the Election and Boundaries Commission hold a re-count. Alleyne will see his victory by a “mud” slide as a form of 'wettin' handed to him by the electorate. 

There are historical and contemporary reasons for this. Remember St. Joseph has always carried a serious level of "blight". Spanish governor Chacon surrendered Trinidad to the British Commander Ralph Abercromby, without a shot in St. Joseph. It was also the home of the notorious "Flying Squad" led by Randolph Burroughs, reportedly ace crime fighter and drug dealer. Look what happened to the local Kojak in the end. 

Oh Mervyn was a member of that squad too and look what happened to him at the hands of Jack. Finally, who is looking more morose, cast aside and politically homeless than the first M.P. in this country to be fired from Parliament, while representing….St Joseph! Poor man: he must be thinking "Ah shoulda write mih own section 34" 
Beyond that, Alleyne would have to share the stage with Anil, Errol, Chandresh, Clifton, Colm and Jeffreys. It is one thing to face Errol Fabien on the hustings but to compete for comedy prime time with that bunch? Anyway, Wade Mark would not allow him to walk with his own cosmetologists. "I wish to remind the member for St. Joseph that this honorable house is for con artists not makeup artists!” 

I was actually thinking of going out to support the UNC campaign in my area and sent someone to bring me a yellow jersey courtesy of my M.P. "Rudy the Smoothie”, the man who occasionally talks loud, says nothing and stays out the papers. I did get my tee shirt but it would have fit Marlene with room to spare. Upon enquiring I was told in the Partnership "S" means Suruj, which in the Party means extra, extra, extra large. I would have to really "eat a food" to fit. 

But even as we roil in the throes of the election fever, we must recognise it could have been worse. What if a certain Doctor who khan not tell flu from fever were in charge of the Elections and Boundaries Commission? Ballot papers would be stolen, election boundaries would be muddled. Hell, he probably would be giving out the wrong date for elections. The 'voter mortality' rate would probably rival the 'infant mortality' rate under his watch. 
Finally a word of congrats to one heroic, embattled political leader who understands the fundamentals of guerilla war. At the behest of the "Debates Commission", who arrogated unto itself the power to organise political discourse in this country, all Opposition lined up to face and politically annihilate Madame PM, even MSJ whose political morals will allow them to sit around any table, once they get some exposure. 
Following the dictums of Mao, Che, Giap and Cabral, experts who advise that one does not fight pitched battles with better armed and numerically superior forces, General Mother/Grandmother K simply feinted and withdrew, completely disorienting the forces ranged against her. I think King David howled the loudest. His group needed the exposure more than the others. 
Today is Friday 18th. Come Monday 21st we shall learn which political patient made it out of the ward in good shape and who did not.