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COME ON NAH! by Rae Samuel

posted 24 Oct 2014, 20:46 by Gerry Kangalee   [ updated 24 Oct 2014, 20:47 ]
If I were President Come-on-nah and not the Monarch of all I survey although this is a republic, I would immediately divorce my present wife, dress her in a chadoor and a full length dress just to spite that ole cougar Rachel. All yuh could call me jihadist if yuh want and even ban me from Palo Seco, my home town if all yuh want but nobody will ever make fun of my new wife's apparel again.

Will my new wife be pretty? That will be a state secret, since no one, except me, will be seeing her face. She however will not have to run the risk of having foul mouthed cougars who cuss out school Principals make fun of her.

I mean where do these calypsonians, comedians and talk show hosts get off? Making fun of my soon to be ex. Yes I will be requesting her resignation now that she seems to have misbehaved in 'public dress'. She could go back down Palo Seco and lime with fellow public retiree Chandresh which is close to Fyzabad.

I was once a calypsonian and should know that picong and ribald comment are the life blood of the art form of the nation which I lead? Lemme tell all yuh. That was yesterday and today is today to hi-Jack a statement frrrr...ffrr...ffrr..ooom a former football jefe. Nobody will turn my wife into Madame Dracula or Belmont Jackass. I am much better looking than Lord Melody although immensely less talented.

Don't forget I recently mobilised the Reserve Army Corps for no good reason and a chocolate soldier is now in the Ministry of National Security waging wars he never fought while in Teteron.

Thank you for allowing me to address you all on this significant matter of my wife's dress code. Y'all know now I have powers to defend her clothes! Did I help her choose them. None of your damn business!

Steups! All yuh going too far! What? All yuh think this is Calypso History month where you could sing and revive the spirit of calypso as the supreme form of satire and political commentary? Come-on-nah- man!