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ANNEX T&T? GIVE IT BACK! by Rae Samuel

posted 2 Apr 2014, 11:50 by Gerry Kangalee   [ updated 2 Apr 2014, 11:51 ]

All these reports of Cabinet ministers abusing/assaulting their wives, girlfriends and livestock: those of us in the know suspect we may be seeing the influence of a certain high ranking government official who came out of the labour movement. Well, not the livestock part but certainly the woman abuse part. A flurry of anti-woman behaviour running neck and neck with the corporate scandals in National Gas Company and at First Citizens…well Larry's $10m. severance pay certainly seemed to have inspired others. 
But that is not what has grabbed my interest. It is an under reported story that has all the elements of a good television drama. It deals with same sex issues, death, pending courtroom bacchanal and foreign relations. It begins with a report in one of the dailies of one of our pathologists at the forensic centre charging his colleague with assault. Normally you find these things occurring in malls, on aeroplanes, near union offices, but hardly ever in morgues.

Then it is usually between opposite genders but this was not sexual/indecent assault but rather the good old fashion kind where protagonists of the same sex scramble and resort to fists. Now I am assuming it was a fight because the matter has reached court. Life is funny, is it not? A man offends a woman, he simply loses his job and people march in support of him around Parliament. A man touches another man, presumably not on his breast, and he has to appear in court and face a fine or imprisonment

So two pathologists: one local the other Russian. I wonder what Lenin or Stalin would be thinking of him... fall out with his co-worker, in the 'dead of morning/mourning?" Details have not been released yet but as I said I am assuming this happened at the workplace and not an aeroplane. And the only women present would have passed on.

Picture this: the good doctors are duke-ing it out with one hollering. "Nyet, nyet, comrade; over my dead body/bodies!!!" In turn the other is ramajaying "When ah dead bury mih clothes..." while holding the other in a lockneck and giving him some good calpet.

Now I too for a moment had some concerns that this matter might reach really far, given the mood Putin is in these days and what has happened in Crimea. But I think any thought of annexation never entered their minds. Again picture this: Rear Admiral Plekhanov: (why admirals are always rear, is it a gay thing?), the Admiral is reporting to their Joint Chiefs-of-Staff

PLEKHANOV: Comrades I am reporting on developments on the matter concerning our late comrade Andropov, stationed on Trinidad.

CHAIRMAN: Sorry to hear that he has passed away. The Fatherland will...

PLEKHANOV: He is not dead Comrade Chairman.

CHAIRMAN: But you just said the late comrade Andropov.

PLEKHANOV: Well he was working in a mortuary.

CHAIRMAN: (sighs) English will never be your first language, comrade. What do you have to report?

PLEKHANOV: In response to the degradation and humiliation meted out to our colleague I have annexed Trinidad and Tobago.

CHAIRMAN: (rising out of his chair) WHAT!! Are you @#amp;+* crazy? Don't you look at T.V. 6, don't you read the Express newspapers, haven't you heard of Jack Warner and of Gary Griffith? Go and hand it back RIGHT NOW. Have you been socialising with their Prime Minister? Jesus Russian Orthodox Christ!!!

But I do hope the matter is settled out of court since we need all the pathologists we can get. Remember this is a country where cause of death is decided by majority verdict. You can die of an asthma attack in the morning, manual strangulation in the evening and remain officially undecided until your tissue samples come back from abroad.

Yes, after 51 years of Independence we still do not know 'how to dead'. Remember the young soldier who was found dead on the parade ground at Teteron barracks. Or the house wife who was found dead in her own home shortly after a police visit? Or the numerous prisoners who imaginatively die in jail or in police custody?

One last word to the doctor Des Vignes: A serious bush bath may be in the offing for you. Your name is already forever linked with another Hubert, one Mr, Volney, through the Brad Boyce matter. I am not a believer in 'blight' but he is politically dead and you are a pathologist so I do not know if some of his contagion might have stayed with you, in some form. This man so 'blight' that the Director of the ILP funeral home from Chaguanas West turn him down. The man political life is over and he cannot even find a final resting place.

Did somebody say MSJ? 

Back to the studio!!!